[Colin_Partridge]

I know this is way off topic but I just had to post it. One of the best I have seen in a long time
Colin

The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can,
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can, to give them a bigger laugh

[wade clark]

Colin,
Now you did it! & you thought the DRAGON was rough!
Good luck! White water ahead!
Wade

[Thor]

That was GREAT! I can't wait to show it to my husband.
Thor

[Colin_Partridge]

Wade looks like a got thru the first set of rapids and I still have my head above water.LOL
Colin

[Canopener]

Good one Colin, it should be handed out at the altar. I think I am ahead of the game. Never have watched sports, it cuts into tool time and that is viewed as productive. Besides, she divorced the last guy for too much sports and sudz.
I like to stay way ahead of the color curve by bringing home paints like "Incadoo" or "Carotene"; it keeps her bamboozeled.
I can understand her pain about hitting a straight porcelin comode at 3:00 AM on a mid-winters night; but once you are done with the coyote howl, there is no reason to whine like a pup. I act like it was really fun. Ha Ha!
Best of all, my wife really does not like shopping all that much. Eat your hearts out.
She even takes my trail of woodchips with good humor. It is only when I am working in the garden that her wrath boils over. That BETTER not be COW MANURE you are tracking into my CLEAN HOUSE! I think the smell gives me away.
Have fun!
Jim

[Hi_Ho_Sliver]

Alas, Poor Colin, I knew him well! LOL

[carver6]

Colin,
Do you prefer flowers or some of those little vinyl balloons that say "Get well soon". Maybe just a piece of wood and a knife would be better.
Garon

[Lindy]

Okay, Okay, it *finally* all makes sense now... I never looked at it this way before:

MENtal illness

MENstrual cramps

MENtal breakdown

MENopause

GUYnocologist

AND

When we have REAL trouble, it's a HISterectomy.

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?

Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day.

Send this to all the men just to annoy them----------------------------

[Hugh]

Justfound this thread, good laugh first thing in the morning, especially 1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!


my kids are grown up, but they still tease me about" JUST SAY IT".