[LCorbett]

Tom...in that case, you'd rather be the telemarketer...E V I L G R I N....
Let's just say it's Rated NC-17....LMBO

[imahic]

That was very funny. Thanks for sharing this with us. Made my day.

[LCorbett]

Thank, imahic....i'm waiting on the next one to come along...
Love your screen name, by the way...lol...

[slather]

Almost wet my self , very good comeback Lori , you must be a real hoot to live with.

Al

http://picasaweb.google.com/al.hillis/WOODCARVINGSMINE

[cats pa]

Lori, you are a bad, bad, girl. Does your mommy/daddy know you're talkin' like that?

I've known Matt since he was a little squirt. His dad told him, "Son, if you keep looking at dirty pictures, you're gonna go blind." He replied, "Gee, dad, I sure don't wanna go blind. Couldn't I do it just 'til I need glasses?" I think he's the same guy, works at a fishing tackle store? He's really good at demonstrating how to properly apply a worm to a hook, and I never saw a guy with such shiny palms and strong fingers. Must be from handling worms all day, or maybe the same worm over and over, 'cause you wouldn't want to waste them just for demonstration. He was feeling weak for a while, but now he's come to grips with his problem and has the situation firmly in hand.

Unfortunately, it took me a long time to read your post, on account of eating some oatmeal at the time, and having to clean off the screen between each page down. I had only read part of it when I ran out of paper towels, and the garbage was getting full anyway, so I used a corner of the area rug which made it very slippery.

Also, did you know that if a person is laughing so hard they can't breathe, gasping for air, and they double over and slip on a slippery area rug, hitting their ear on the woodstove handle, it not only hurts like hell, but also frightens the cat that likes to sleep under there? Not only that, but gasping in front of the woodstove door is not a good idea, as it makes your tongue taste like ashes, and your face gets little black and grey streaks on it, at least mine did. Sure wish I had some paper towels, as I mentioned before, but at least the rug has three clean corners left.

Anyway, I hope you're happy with all the damage you've caused. If you ever do this again, please don't let me read about it (or hear about it either, with my remaining good ear). As the raccoon said after making love to the porcupine, "I think I've enjoyed about all of this I can stand." And Rascal the cat says it's not fair to be startled out of his catnap by someone who he never even got to claw on their pant leg. Hard to argue with that...

Painfully yours,
Parker

[LCorbett]

...you must be a real hoot to live with...

"Challenge" would be a closer match...LOL

Parker...Mom sent me a VERY short email:..."You're forgiven - I guess."...she's just jealous cuz she didn't think of it first.
Sorry I made you spew oatmeal and scare your cat. As personal staff to a cat myself, I know I'd rather slip on oatmeal than tick off the cat...
Proof - http://www.whisperingeagle.com/SpiderTrap.htm

[cats pa]

I salute your intentions of helping your cat out of a, well... sticky situation. However, in my experience (and now in yours, too), cats don't want assistance from humans. They do want food, although whatever you feed them isn't good enough. They want body heat, because they have to maintain 102 degrees, and if 98.6 of it can come from a human, better for the cat. But assistance? Not really. Three results are likely: a) the cat is more p*ssed off than if left alone, b) the human sustains most of the damage, and c) the whole thing is the human's fault, in the mind of the cat (the only mind that matters to the cat).

I have learned to think long and hard about helping cats out of trees, off of roofs, stuck in heating ducts, etc. Most times, if I spend half an hour ignoring the cat in distress, something happens that makes my assistance no longer necessary. Sometimes, but not always, it involves another human volunteering to be the ceremonial victim...

Parker

[falconer]

I recieved this email also, and I did exactly what Lori did and I wasn't to nice about it either. Kinda brought back my Marine Corps. days a little cause I let him have it with both barrels and if he didn't get the point then he's really more of an idiot than I thought!!!



www.sierracreekstudios.com

[mark yundt]

Been getting at least two of these a week . Now they're arriving from a Major Hemsley in Iraq. I told him I have a woman in charge of my finances and if he has further inquiries he can go to Helen Wait,,,she'll take care of him promptly.