Ode to Spammers

Irish · #1 12-28-2006, 10:10 AM

T'was six days after Solstice
And all through the house
Could be heard the bemoaning
Of my poor tired spouse.

Though the traffic through our website
Was glorious and grand
Our email account couldn't keep
Up with the Spam.

Some messages were big,
Some very small,
Some were jumbles of letters
We couldn't read at all.

There were offers enhancement meds
That we don't use
And offers from personal websites
Which we bluntly refused.

Ebay and Paypal need us to confirm
Our credit card numbers and pins
So that we could keep bidding
On their lusty sins.

The inbox swelled up,
And trice nearly burst,
We couldn't delete fast enough
to get all from the last to the first.

On the evening of the twenty-fourth
The Spam was sticking like sleet
And he thought he would forever
Be clicking delete.

That Holy morning the box was so stuffed,
2000 an hour at it's highest peak
And when the count pasted 10,000
He started to speak.

In a deep sullen voice
Both righteous and sad
He proclaim all spammers
To be stark raving mad.

"Insane they are, I do tell you all!
For filling our inbox with their torrid mail
They all should be sentenced to
Life in maximum security jail!"

Not till the wee hours of Dec 28th
Did the Spam settled down to a reasonable pace.
At which point he collasped in a heap
Barely having survived the Christmas Spam Race.

So if by chance we deleted
Your message, letter or script
We apologize that it accidentally
Got thrown out with the Poop!

Having stopped here to post
I can not longer linger
For off to the doctor's we must go
For bandages for his worn out deleting finger!

Hope ya'll had a great holiday, which ever one you celebrate.

Mike and Susan Irish

Donna_T · #2 12-28-2006, 10:33 AM

Ahhhh, Susan,
You're a poet AND an artist! How true,how true! Life would be so much more simple but for the spammers--how do they find the time to do so much havoc with our computers.

Donna T

Kenny_S · #3 12-28-2006, 11:08 AM

I recieve a letterfrom Citbank in the mail the 23rd that wanted to verify my account(credit card) with them and that it was about to exspire. Funny, I don't and never will have a credit card with them. Made copies of the letter and Took it back down to the

office and turned it in to the Police also. Did I call Citibank, Nope.

So spam, Fried or baked ain't bad!

Nancy-ID · #4 12-28-2006, 11:22 AM

Susan, cute poem

If you would be interested we have way of fixing email addresses so spammers can't pick up on them (at least yet). We insert a line of Java script which makes it unable to be detected by those rotten spammers. I'll send you the code if you'd like.

squbrigg · #5 12-28-2006, 04:20 PM

Well done Susan! And Mike too of course! But he never posts, so you will have to accept the acolades!!!

Spam is becoming the bain of my existance, so I'm happy to see that I'm not alone. Hundreds per day, and has become such a nusance, I almost hate to open my mail box lately.

Bob

Ashbys · #6 12-28-2006, 04:58 PM

Susan !

Nice to see you survived Christmas !

=)

Ash

Irish · #7 12-29-2006, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ashbys

Susan !

Nice to see you survived Christmas !

=)

Ash

I think so ... but the verdict is not set in concrete yet

Hope your new venture is going well!
Hey Bob, Hey Donna!

Nancy, thanks, I'd like a copy but I am not sure it will do much good. We will be celebrating 10 years on the net this spring and I believe in all that time we must surely be on every spam list and CD ever made. I think it is way to late.

Susan

Kenny_S · #8 12-29-2006, 10:00 AM

Folks, there s a new fangle dangle software called SpamBlocker. Well it isn't new. The concept has been around for a few years and your ISP should have it on their Mail server and you can download it to your pc for free. If the SpamBlocker is on the ISP server, and you get spammed, report the spam to your ISP. If they are any good they will fix the problem.
The ISP I have has the SpamBlocker program on their mail servers and I have it on my PC.
It appears I don't have the spam problem that you all have.

Kenny_S · #9 12-29-2006, 10:03 AM

Susan, Ya don't know till you try it. There are several codes that can be applied to you mail that eliminated or almost eliminate spammers. heck, it it reduce it in half, it has helped you.

whitecree · #10 12-29-2006, 11:12 AM

I use yahoo mail, myself. For the most part, I only get mail from places I have an interest in. Most spam - about 90% - goes straight to the recycle bin.

But I hear you! Spammers are -

Are -

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Take a cockroach. Smash it flat with a very heavy blunt object. Feed it to a sick, incontinent cat. Whatever the cat deposits in the litter box, that is about what a spammer is.