[Hi_Ho_Sliver]

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been
named "Governmentium." Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75
assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic
mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert. However, it
can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into
contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days
to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass
will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to
believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to
as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as
Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons...
-------

[Irish]

HI_Ho,

I read the same scientific article and you forgot to include the section where the scientist explained that if you try to split a Governmentium element all of the individual particles tend to go forever in little useless circles. Plus the spliting process leaves an odd bi-product ... stacks and stacks of paper work!

ROTF-LOL

Susan

[wade clark]

HA! FUNNNY!
Wade

[carver6]

And the folks in New Orleans wonder why it's taking soooo long.

[BobD]

Another function of governmentium is the way is self-replicates. Left to its own devices, within it's 4-year half-life, each of the deputy neutrons will branch off to form new atom, with each deputy neutron becoming a full neutron. The compliment of assistant neutrons, etc., is promoted and new deputy assistant neutrons are created. This function is called "burecracy," and tends to complicate itself and perpetuate itself beyond the 4-year half-life of the element.

Scientists believe that if the burecracy function is left unchecked long enough, governmentium will actually forn a new element called "totalitarianium," which feeds on the "Brave New World" or "Big Brother" system. The Big Brother system was first introduced in 1984 <grin>.

Bob

[Hi_Ho_Sliver]

Kindly brought to you by those that wish bigger government! lol

[MrDantastic]

Hahahaha!

Having slept through more than a few of my chemistry classes, I believed it until I got to the catalyzed with money part, then I became confused....

[Hisart]

That's Hilarious!
I still can't stop chuckling!
I bet it's radioactive, distroying the braincells of any individual that stays near it!