Diaries of Dogs and Cats....

[susieq]

I know this isn't anything to do with Christmas but I think we all need to know what's REALLY going on in the minds of our pets...

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

[Kenny_S]

Ain't it the truth. Dog is man's best friend.

How can you tell?

Well, lock you dog and your wife in the trunk of the car and see which one greets you with a wag of the tail and a licks you when you let them both out! LOL

Merry CHRISTmas

In God We Trust

[aulddiy]

THat fits my little bit of knowledge on dogs, cats we avoid.

But Kenny S you've never tried the boot (trunk) experiment, have you? You might just survive that but I doubt if you'd be able to carve afterwards.

[Sharon of the Dell]

Thanks Susie, that was funny.Kenny,I doubt if your wife will lick your face!

[Kenny_S]

Well, It is a good test to see which is your best friend. Eh?

[RUssL.]

I did several theatrical readings of this to various members of the family and got a good laugh from each.

Thank you & Merry Christmas!

Russ

[Eddy-Smiles]

Wow! Your dog stays up late!

[susieq]

Although I love cats, in my life, dogs rule...... I really can't imagine life without one. They're ok with what ever their human wants to do.

[Ron Davidson]

Yes what would we do without them. I have two my lab guide dog Lou and an 8 1/2 year old boston terrier. I was in a local park with them and mom about a month ago walking and I had Lou's harness on my shoulder and he was just on a long leash being a regular dog. We got off the cement path and I missed a tree root with my cane and the next thing I knew I was kissing dirt. Well Lou came running over to do what he is supposed to do and lay beside me he thought great nap time. Now the boston that is another story she gets me on the floor on ground and I am dead meat she thinks I am there to play and she goes into attack mode. So here I am trying to figure the damage to myuself and trying to get up with a 80 lb lab laying on me and another one chewing on my arm. It is funny to have them competing for my attention. The boston I have had since she was 5 weeks old and she always sleeps on the foot rest on my recliner between my feet. Well big ole Lou saw this and figured he could do the same and the first time he jumped up there he nearly flipped the chair and me over. So now when the boston goes to bark at something Lou will jump and take her place then fight is on. She will bark right in his face and slap him on the nose with her front paws until he moves his butt out of her place. I could go on on about these dogs and their personalities which never seem to amaze me. Couldn't live without them.
Ron

[Eddy-Smiles]

Susan... How about starting a thread where members can show off a pic of their best four footed friends? You should have the honor since you started this great thread!