I need some advice

[Colin-Partridge]

Hi Gang,
For those of you that have not seen my thread "Memorial to a Child" I need some advice. I am doing a chainsaw carving for a family who lost their young son. This memorial is to be placed in their garden. My dileama is that this is a commission. I have never mentioned money to them I just dont have the heart to do that. What should I tell them when it is finished? I feel that I should just give it to them, how do you put a price on a young boys life. Knowing the family they are going to insist on paying me I just dont know what to tell them. I really would like your advice to what you would do and how to approach it. I would normaly charge about $500 for a carving this size although I have a lot more hours into this one than usual. Just would like your imput.
Thanks in advance
Colin

[Tom-H]

Colin, Whenever I have to give a price for any woodworking whether it be a cabinet or acarving I agonize over it. If I ever agree to do something for someone and I don't talk about price upfront, I really agonize over it. Throw into the mix, the sad circumstances under which the carving is for; and it's got to be beyond agony. But knowing you, even only from this forum, you'll end up doing it right.

Tom H

[BobD]

That's a tough one, Colin...I can see your dilemma...

Did they actively seek you out to commission you to do it? If so, they expect to pay for it. I know if I commissioned something in memory of my late son Michael, I'd expect to pay for it. In fact, I would insist on paying for it.

While I would appreciate your generosity, I would feel like I was praying on your sympathies. If I commissioned you to make a memorial statue, it would because I want to memorialize my son in my own way, and I would want to pay for it.

I'd suggest telling them what you would usually charge for it, and then tell them you would like to give them a discount.

Personally, I would probably take the discount if offered because I am still paying you for the memorial, but allowing you to offer your sympathy as well.

Bob

[Bartster]

colin,


i see your point and i also see bob's if they came to you for the peice then they are expecting to pay, but if you feel as if you cant ask for payment maybe you could suggest them taking the money and donating it to a charity in the boys name to help kids in your area. just a thought hope it helps.


bart

[BobD]

Excellent idea, Bart!!!

Bob

[Irish]

Colin ... This is just my experiences, please take what you want and throw the rest away.

People tend to place important on art based on it's price. Lower priced pieces are seen as less valuable, done by a lesser artist or of less importance in the art world. Higher pricing implies higher quality in the art, art done by a more nationally recoginzed artist or more innovative in the art world.

Art is not a tangible purchase, it is an emotional one. The art either touches part of your being and you therefore identify with it personnally or you don't buy it.

In this example your "clients" are not buying a piece of carved wood. NOr our they buying a statue to adnore their child's grave ... they are buying a tangible representation of their love and grief for their lost child.

So is their grief worth only $100 which is equal to something they could have bought at WalMart or is their grief something that is worthy of purchasing a custom, commissioned, one of a kind piece of art?

Please ... don't under value their love, don't under price their grief. Let them pay what you would normally charge for such work because they emotionally need to a lasting statement that they still think of him every day.

Susan

[Gulf Coast Handyman]

I agree with Bart, I have in the past done exactly that.

Dave

[pallin]

The comments are helpful for resolving YOUR dilemma, but remember that the parents are probably feeling similar conflicts: How to memorialize their son? What is the proper price to them?

[sludgeguy]

My cents,

I lost my mother a while ago, In purchasing her gravestone, while not exactly the same, I felt pretty much what Susan was describing.
You may wish to gently bring it up in the conversation through discussing the enjoyable but numerous hours you've put into it. Perhaps mention that you've come to feel close through the effort and time introduced into the project.
That should open up a discussion on value, then try to feel them out.
I would not give them a marked down price as it will under value the meaning behind the memorial. If you wish to discount it, let them know, gently, the full value, that way your work and effort will be appreciated.

Just my opinion,
Doug

[Ashbys]

Colin,

It is never easy to charge for a memorial. Because we understand the feelings involved. But I agree with Bob D. There is little we can do for a loved one that passes, and although I am sure the gift would be well accepted , If you give it , then it is a gift from you to their family , not a gift from the mother and father to their child.

If you wish to do more ask only for the cost , of materials, delivery and tell them. This way you have given them what they asked for and they are aware it is a gift from your heart as well to honor the family , but it remains a gift from them.

Ash